Freelance Writer

A closed mouth gathers no foot.

Generally speaking, you aren't learning much when your lips are moving.

Some days you are the dog, some days you are the tree.

If you lend someone £20 and never see that person again, it was probably well worth it.

Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes.

That way, when you criticize them, you're a mile away and you have their shoes.

Never test the depth of the water with both feet.

Always remember you're unique. Just like everyone else.

The notion that the leaders of the financial industry, including those in Government, never considered the possibility of house prices not continuing to rise, are at the least being disingenuous. Surely it does not take a genius to work out that if incomes rise at a lower annual percentage than house prices, we will eventually reach a point where house ownership is beyond the reach of everyone. The question is when, not if, this will happen.
The recent economic disaster caused in part by the financial industry loaning capital to home buyers with little to no means of repaying it, only hastened the inevitable. Essentially the powers that be recognized that the imminent housing market bubble was going to burst, so they stuck a financial pin in it.
Nobody seems to be asking the question "Why did the financial geniuses NOT know that the housing bubble was going to burst?". You have to conclude that they did, in fact, know, and set about making markets so that they could profit from the collapse. Manufacturing a financial pin if you will.
The problem is that the existing, prior to the sub-prime market creation, loans were well secured, assuming house prices continued to rise, which we know they could not indefinitely. If things had been left alone, then the bubble would have reached a plateau and possibly deflated slowly. A market normalization process. There is not enough profit in a stable marketplace, so what was needed was a destabilizing mechanism, sub-prime loans. Lending to borrowers that would default on payment sooner would throw a wrench in the works and have the desired effect. Betting on this, as hedge funds do, will not make enough profit unless there is a drastic drop in the market. Which is what happened. Pure genius, at the expense of the general public.

Even though the anchor tag 'Looks' like the real thing, this is just a variation on a theme. If you hover over the link you should see a completely different URL. What happens when you click will depend on what the perpetrator intends for you, by clicking you put yourself in their hands. Don't do it.

Hi,
You have 3 unread message(s)
http://twitter.com/account/message/19A5-7687

The Twitter Team

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Here is a real, non-destructive, example. Click on it and you will go to DavidRyman.com.
http://twitter.com/accounts/message/19A5-7687

A cowboy from Texas attended a social function where Barack Obama was trying to gather support for his Health Plan. Once Obama discovered the cowboy was from President Bush's home area, he started to make fun of him by talking in a southern drawl and using single syllable words.

As he was doing that, he kept swatting at some flies that were buzzing around his head.
The cowboy asked, "Y'all havin' some problem with them circle flies?"
Obama stopped talking and said,
"Well, yes, if that's what they're called, but I've never heard of circle flies."
"Well, sir," the cowboy replied, "Circle flies hang around ranches.
They're called circle flies because they're almost always found circlin' around the back end of a horse."

"Oh," Obama replied, and went back to rambling.

A moment later he stopped and bluntly asked,
"Are you calling me a horse's ass?"
"No, sir," the cowboy replied, "I have too much respect for the citizens of this great country to call their president a horse's ass."
"That's a good thing, "Obama responded and began rambling on once more.

After a short pause, the cowboy, in his best Texas Drawl, said, "Hard to fool them flies, though."

SR-71 Blackbird

In April 1986, following an attack on American soldiers in a Berlin disco, President Reagan ordered the bombing of Muammar Qaddafi's terrorist camps in Libya My duty was to fly over Libya and take photos recording the damage our F-111's had inflicted.. Qaddafi had established a 'line of death,' a territorial marking across the Gulf of Sidra , swearing to shoot down any intruder that crossed the boundary. On the morning of April 15, I rocketed past the line at 2,125 mph.

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Marriage changes passion.
Suddenly you're in bed with a relative.

I saw a woman wearing a sweat shirt with 'Guess' on it.
So I said 'Implants?'

She hit me.

How come we choose from just two people to run for president and over fifty for Miss America ?

Now that food has replaced sex in my life, I can't even get into my own pants.

I signed up for an exercise class and was told to wear loose fitting clothing. If I HAD any loose fitting clothing, I wouldn't have signed up in the first place!

When I was young we used to go 'skinny dipping,' now I just 'chunky dunk.'

Don't argue with an idiot; people watching may not be able to tell the difference.

Wouldn't it be nice if whenever we messed up our life we could simply press 'Ctrl Alt Delete' and start all over? AMEN, AMEN !!

Why is it that our children can't read a Bible in school, but they can in prison?

A completely brillant question!!!!!!!

Wouldn't you know it.....
Brain cells come and brain cells go, but FAT cells live forever.

Why do I have to swear on the Bible in court when the Ten Commandments cannot be displayed outside?

Another completely brilliant question!!!

Bumper sticker of the year:
'If you can read this, thank a teacher -and, since it's in English, thank a soldier'

And remember: life is like a roll of toilet paper. The closer it gets to the end, the faster it goes.

Spirit Air are now charging up to $45 per carry on luggage item and Ryanair are fitting coin slots on their restrooms.
In defense of Ryanair, most of their flights are in and around Ireland and have a duration of under an hour, about the same as a bus journey in London. London buses do not have restrooms as you can alight and visit a facility on the ground, short flights have the problem of not being able to drop someone off along the route, so have to have on-board facilities. You can imagine some of these airborne potties may not be used week to week with short hop travel, so in effect are a waste of space in that they could increase the passenger capacity in their absence, and therefore potentially increasing the revenue stream.
A better solution would be to weigh every passenger, luggage and all, and charge the customer on the basis of tonnage. After all it is getting the weight off the ground and moving it from A to B that is the variable cost involved in flying, the more weight the more fuel needed. To fine tune the system, passengers can also be weighed when they disembark and be charged for the difference.
If a traveler goes to the bathroom during the flight they may be a difference of a pound. Charging them for this change would offset the cost of operating the toilet facilities. If the same person buys a meal on board, then the weight would not change but the toilet costs can be included in the cost of the meal.
A traveler, who provides his own food, will have already been charged for the additional weight within their total flying weight, and if they offload some in-flight, the difference will be detected once disembarked and charged for accordingly.
This system would also solve the issues involved with over-weight passengers.

According to Commercials on TV, many plastic containers end up in landfills around the country. "30 minutes in the gym, forever in a landfill" is the gist of the message. The idea that we can create materials that are totally non-biodegradable led me to think. The hinge on the toilet seat in our downstairs bathroom broke the other day, and it is made of plastic. So why don't we use the indestructible type of plastic to make toilet seat hinges and the obviously biodegradable type to make water containers?

This is an actual account as relayed to paramedics at a chili cook-off in Texas...
Note: Please take time to read this slowly. If you pay attention to the first two judges, the reaction of the third judge is even better. For those of you who have lived in Texas, you know how true this is. They actually have a Chili Cook-off about the time Halloween comes around. It takes up a major portion of a parking lot at the San Antonio City Park. Judge #3 was an inexperienced Chili taster named Frank, who was visiting from New Jersey.

Frank: "Recently, I was honored to be selected as a judge at a chili cook-off. The original person called in sick at the last moment and I happened to be standing there at the judge's table, asking for directions to the Coors Light truck, when the call came in. I was assured by the other two judges (Native Texans) that the chili wouldn't be all that spicy; and, besides, they told me I could have free beer during the tasting, so I accepted and became Judge 3."

Here are the scorecard notes from the event:

CHILI # 1 - MIKE'S MANIAC MONSTER CHILI
Judge # 1 -- A little too heavy on the tomato. Amusing kick.
Judge # 2 -- Nice, smooth tomato flavor. Very mild.
Judge # 3 (Frank) -- Holy crap, what the heck is this stuff? You could remove dried paint from your driveway. Took me two beers to put the flames out. I hope that's the worst one. These Texans are crazy.

CHILI # 2 - AUSTIN 'S AFTERBURNER CHILI
Judge # 1 -- Smoky, with a hint of pork. Slight jalapeno tang.
Judge # 2 -- Exciting BBQ flavor, needs more peppers to be taken seriously.
Judge # 3 -- Keep this out of the reach of children. I'm not sure what I'm supposed to taste besides pain. I had to wave off two people who wanted to give me the Heimlich. They had to rush in more beer when they saw the look on my face.

CHILI # 3 - FRED'S FAMOUS BURN DOWN THE BARN CHILI
Judge # 1 -- Excellent firehouse chili. Great kick.
Judge # 2 -- A bit salty, good use of peppers.
Judge # 3 -- Call the EPA. I've located a uranium spill. My nose feels like I have been snorting Drano. Everyone knows the routine by now. Get me more beer before I ignite. Barmaid pounded me on the back, now my backbone is in the front part of my chest. I'm getting drunk from all of the beer.

CHILI # 4 - BUBBA'S BLACK MAGIC
Judge # 1 -- Black bean chili with almost no spice. Disappointing.
Judge # 2 -- Hint of lime in the black beans. Good side dish for fish or other mild foods, not much of a chili.
Judge # 3 -- I felt something scraping across my tongue, but was unable to taste it. Is it possible to burn out taste buds? Sally, the beer maid, was standing behind me with fresh refills. This 300 lb. Woman is starting to look HOT. Just like this nuclear waste I'm eating! Is chili an aphrodisiac?

CHILI # 5 - LISA'S LEGAL LIP REMOVER
Judge # 1 -- Meaty, strong chili. Cayenne peppers freshly ground, adding considerable kick. Very impressive.
Judge # 2 -- Chili using shredded beef, could use more tomato. Must admit the cayenne peppers make a strong statement.
Judge # 3 -- My ears are ringing, sweat is pouring off my forehead and I can no longer focus my eyes. I farted, and four people behind me needed paramedics. The contestant seemed offended when I told her that her chili had given me brain damage. Sally saved my tongue from bleeding by pouring beer directly on it from the pitcher. I wonder if I'm burning my lips off. It really ticks me off that the other judges asked me to stop screaming.

CHILI # 6 - VERA'S VERY VEGETARIAN VARIETY
Judge # 1 -- Thin yet bold vegetarian variety chili. Good balance of spices and peppers.
Judge # 2 -- The best yet. Aggressive use of peppers, onions, garlic. Superb.
Judge # 3 -- My intestines are now a straight pipe filled with gaseous, sulfuric flames. I crapped on myself when I farted, and I'm worried it will eat through the chair. No one seems inclined to stand behind me except that Sally. Can't feel my lips anymore. I need to wipe my butt with a snow cone.

CHILI # 7 - SUSAN'S SCREAMING SENSATION CHILI
Judge # 1 -- A mediocre chili with too much reliance on canned peppers.
Judge # 2 -- Ho hum, tastes as if the chef literally threw in a can of chili peppers at the last moment. **I should take note that I am worried about Judge #3. He appears to be in a bit of distress as he is cursing uncontrollably.
Judge # 3 - If you put a grenade in my mouth & pulled the pin, I wouldn't feel a thing. I've lost sight in one eye & my eardrums are pounding. My shirt is covered with chili, which slid unnoticed out of my mouth. My pants are full of lava to match my shirt. At least during the autopsy, they'll know what killed me. I've decided to stop breathing, it's too painful & I'm not getting any oxygen anyway. If I need air, I'll just suck it in through the 4-inch hole in my stomach.

CHILI # 8 - BIG TOM'S TOENAIL CURLING CHILI
Judge # 1 -- The perfect ending, this is a nice blend chili. Not too bold but spicy enough to declare its existence.
Judge # 2 -- This final entry is a good, balanced chili. Neither mild nor hot. Sorry to see that most of it was lost when Judge #3 farted, passed out, fell over and pulled the chili pot down on top of himself.. Not sure if he's going to make it. Poor feller, wonder how he'd have reacted to really hot chili?
Judge # 3 - No Report

It seems that we are continuing on from last year. Nico going great guns in the practice. Hamilton and Button are also up there. Michael may not think he is back in the grove yet, but he did look good with a 3rd fastest pace. Not too shabby for an old man :), he's 41.
I had thought Kobayashi had been dropped, but I was misinformed, he's back, and not really surprising after his blistering performance towards the end of 2009. If he doesn't get injured, he is definitely my one to watch. You have to believe that BMW Sauber have at least a mid grid car, so expect Kobayashi to be at worst 13th.
The new teams are finding it more difficult getting started. Lotus are hoping to be competitive in 3 years time. HRT (not a menopause treatment) are still putting the car together, having missed the pre season testing in Spain. Virgin did manage a number of laps, so look to be off the also ran list very quickly.
It's funny that the Williams driving team is rated 3rd in experience when one of them has never raced in F1 before. I am so thrilled that my good friend Rubins is racing still. ( I don't actually know him, but he's such a nice fellow you can't help but want to :) )
Expect to see objections being raised concerning McLaren's bladder controlled aerodynamic element. As a repeat of Brawn's diffuser last year, it comes down to the intent of the regulations. It was intended that the aerodynamics should not change from one part of the circuit to any other. This is clearly not the case with bladder control, which disrupts airflow to the rear wing, or not, depending on the drivers knee position. It is also interesting that after the regulation changes for 1994, after the death of Ayrton Senna, to reduce downforce, the 2010 cars have more than the 1993 versions. That's progress for you.

Hi,
I am a Systems Architect and have been pondering for a year about how to build an auxiliary manufacturing base within the US. Now that the President is addressing this issue I felt it pertinent to submit my 2 cents worth, in the form of a link to my personal web site, where I am developing the idea.
http://davidryman.com/DragonTau.php/2010/03/11/manufacturing-opportunities-in-the-us#more272

It is not possible for one person to develop this idea on there own and would not be done by any company big enough to do it, so the only organization that can do it is the Federal Government. The benefits are enormous.

I, of course, would be willing to contribute with the architecture, math and/or philosophy should I find anyone wanting to develop the project.

Link: http://davidryman.com/writer.php?title=manufacturing-opportunities-in-the-us&more=1&c=1&tb=1&pb=1#more272

Workforce
The workforce at a manufacturing plant are generally paid minimum wage. I would envision two distinct groups of workers, the experienced and the trainees. The Trainees would likely be those that have recently left the education system. They will be able to get some productive experience before moving on to better paid 'traditional' businesses. The Experienced workers would likely be retired, part-time people seeking additional income to bolster their retirement funds. They would also include workers between jobs, who have some valuable experience under their belts. There would probably be a third group, those that cannot find better paying jobs and remain within the system for life. Still it would be better than claiming Social Security.
It is not the intent of this manufacturing base to make anything complex, so the workers do not have to be highly skilled, although there are no boundaries.

There are many reasons for the decline in manufacturing in the US.
Restrictive trading practices in other countries.
Cheaper products made overseas.
Tax breaks for outsourcing.

To start a new business requires more than an idea. You need premises, a work force, administrative staff, material supplies, sales outlets, and all this requires money. The process is overwhelming to all but a few dedicated individuals, and there is no guarantee of success, the majority of small businesses fail within the first 2 years.

It does not have to be that way, if we all get together and "Do what we do best".

We all have the 'great idea' that would make a fortune if only....If only we had someone we could trust to take it and run with it. Well why not.

Set up an 'Ideas development shop', where anyone can go to develop their ideas. Given encouragement most people would pursue there ideas given that they might make some money from it.

OK we have the IDS (Ideas Development Shop) and it has 100s of product ideas filed away. Now what.

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Text extracted from Joe's web site for your information.

If you’re reading this, you’re no doubt asking yourself, “Why did this have to happen?” The simple truth is that it is complicated and has been coming for a long time. The writing process, started many months ago, was intended to be therapy in the face of the looming realization that there isn’t enough therapy in the world that can fix what is really broken. Needless to say, this rant could fill volumes with example after example if I would let it. I find the process of writing it frustrating, tedious, and probably pointless… especially given my gross inability to gracefully articulate my thoughts in light of the storm raging in my head. Exactly what is therapeutic about that I’m not sure, but desperate times call for desperate measures.

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Ingredients

* 1 tablespoon chilli powder
* 1/4 teaspoon garlic powder
* 1/4 teaspoon onion powder
* 1/4 teaspoon crushed red pepper flakes
* 1/4 teaspoon dried oregano
* 1/2 teaspoon paprika
* 1 1/2 teaspoons ground cumin
* 1 teaspoon sea salt
* 1 teaspoon black pepper

It is a matter of history that when the Supreme Commander of the Allied Forces, General Dwight Eisenhower, found the victims of the death camps he ordered all possible photographs to be taken, and for the German people from surrounding villages to be ushered through the camps and even made to bury the dead.

He did this because he said in words to this effect:

'Get it all on record now - get the films - get the witnesses -because somewhere down the road of history some bastard will get up and say that this never happened'

This week, the UK debated whether to remove The Holocaust from its school curriculum because it 'offends' the Muslim population which claims it never occurred. It is not removed as yet.. However, this is a frightening portent of the fear that is gripping the world and how easily each country is giving into it.

It is now more than 60 years after the Second World War in Europe ended. This e-mail is being sent as a memorial chain, in memory of the,6 million Jews, 20 million Russians, 10 million Christians, and 1,900 Catholic priests

Who were 'murdered, raped, burned, starved, beat, experimented on and humiliated' while the German people looked the other way!

Now, more than ever, with Iran , among others, claiming the Holocaust to be 'a myth,' it is imperative to make sure the world never forgets.

How many years will it be before the attack on the World Trade Center ..

'NEVER HAPPENED'

because it offends some Muslim in the U.S. ???

FREEDOM ISN'T FREE....SOMEONE HAD TO PAY FOR IT
If you can read this...thank a teacher.
If you can read this in English.....thank a veteran.
We make a living by what we get, we make a life by what we give.
-Sir Winston Churchill

Taxpayer ID: affiliates-00000174073547US
Tax Type: INCOME TAX
Issue: Unreported/Underreported Income (Fraud Application)

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I am Barr Jeffrey Lee, an attorney at law. A deceased client of mine,
that shares the same last name as yours,died as the result of a heart-
related condition on March 12th 2005.His heart condition was due to the
death of allthe members of his family in the tsunami disaster on the 26th
December2004 in Sumatra
Indonesia .http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/2004_Indian_Ocean_earthquake

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--
The Irish Lottery
P O Box 1010
11 G Lower Dorset Street,
Dublin 1, Ireland
(Customer Services)

WINNING PARAMETERS
Ref Number: UK-BTL/4910XI/04
Batch Number: 12/25/0304

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UK GAMBLING COMMISSION
Tower 42, 25th Floor
25 Old Broad Street London
EC2N 1HQ.

Ref:ZA/144132/1211
Batch: 22/523009/LHINT

ATTENTION

RE/ AWARD NOTIFICATION

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Why is the email message below probably a scam ?

• Why is the email address from Canada (.ca) ?

FROM: PROMOTIONS DEPARTMENT OF INTERNATIONAL- EURO MILLION LOTTO, WINNING NOTICE FOR GOLDEN STAKE WINNER-Ref. No.-RNL/01/1836547290/UK

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Bank of East Asia ltd.
Bank of East Asia Building,
137 Market Street, Singapore 048943

Hello, Now that we have found you, let us work hand in hand to actualize this claim. A family member of yours or perhaps just a person having the same last name with you died four years ago in Tsunami tragedy in Indonesia leaving behind an estate/capital (US$19.6M with interest still accruing till date) in the bank where I work, till date nobody has come forward or put application for the claim.

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Why is the email message below a scam?

1. International dialing code +4703 does not exist
2. If they have $9.6M, get a proper email address
3. Science degree AND accounting qualifications ? possible but suspect
4. Sent to blank email address, probably blind copied

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Why is the email message probably a scam ?

• The FBI do not send out emails to citizens
• bad grammar and misspelling
• Would the FBI not be knocking on my door if they suspected terrorist funding ?
• It has been more than the 3 day threat, and nothing has happened (yet)

From: Federal Bureau of Investigation
Dept: Anti-Terrorist & Monetary Crimes Division
Office: Washington, D.C. Headquarters
Address: J. Edgar Hoover Building 93 Pennsylvania Avenue, Nw Washington, D.C. 20535-0001

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Grandma is eighty-eight years old and still drives her own car. She writes:

Dear Grand-daughter,

The other day I went up to our local Christian book store and saw a 'Honk if you love Jesus' bumper sticker ..
I was feeling particularly sassy that day because I had just come from a thrilling choir performance, followed by a thunderous prayer meeting.
So, I bought the sticker and put it on my bumper.
Boy, am I glad I did; what an uplifting experience that followed.

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Master Sun, Sun Tzu, may or may not have been a real person. The Art of War, which is attributed to him, may have been a document to which many Chinese Philosophers had contributed. Although it has been dated to around 600 BCE, it mentions the use of chariots, which were used for a brief period around 400 BCE in Chinese warfare. This might suggest it was constructed over a period of 200 - 300 years. The conclusion being that it was a collaborative effort.

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1. Sun Tzu said: The art of war is of vital importance to the State.

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1. Sun Tzu said: In the operations of war, where there are in the field a thousand swift chariots, as many heavy chariots, and a hundred thousand mail-clad soldiers, with provisions enough to carry them a thousand li, the expenditure at home and at the front, including entertainment of guests, small items such as glue and paint, and sums spent on chariots and armor, will reach the total of a thousand ounces of silver per day. Such is the cost of raising an army of 100,000 men.

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1. Sun Tzu said: In the practical art of war, the best thing of all is to take the enemy's country whole and intact; to shatter and destroy it is not so good. So, too, it is better to recapture an army entire than to destroy it, to capture a regiment, a detachment or a company entire than to destroy them.

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1. Sun Tzu said: The good fighters of old first put themselves beyond the possibility of defeat, and then waited for an opportunity of defeating the enemy.

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1. Sun Tzu said: The control of a large force is the same principle as the control of a few men: it is merely a question of dividing up their numbers.

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1. Sun Tzu said: Whoever is first in the field and awaits the coming of the enemy, will be fresh for the fight; whoever is second in the field and has to hasten to battle will arrive exhausted.

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